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Even though penis size doesn’t dictate how good the sex is going to be, people still buy into the myth that bigger is better when it comes to the D. That is until they’ve got one staring them down in the face.
Depending on just how big we’re talking, having sex with a bigger-than-average penis can have its challenges. Lucky for you, great sex isn’t just about penetration, and even if you do wanna ride the beast, there are ways to make it easier.
What do you mean by “big”?According to the most recent
study on penis size, the average penis length is 3.6 in (9.16 cm) while flaccid and 5.2 in (13.12 cm) while erect.
As far as girth, the average circumference is 3.7 in (9.31 cm) while flaccid and 4.6 in (11.66 cm) while erect. To be considered bigger than average, you’d need to measure considerably larger.
The prospect of sticking something really big in the vagina may be a little intimidating, but it’s not impossible. The key is to find ways to make it feel good for all involved. That’s where we come in.
Give these a ride if you or your partner is especially well-endowed. To cover all the bases, we’ve included positions for all skill levels. You’re welcome.
Tight missionary
The partner with the V can control how much of the D they get by keeping their legs together when getting banged missionary-style.
To do it, assume the typical penis-on-top position, only the partner being penetrated keeps their legs inside of their partner’s legs. This creates a tight squeeze that feels like being all in to the penetrator, while giving the receiver just enough.
To keep things slippery and wet, just reach down and play with your clit using your hand or a small vibrator.
Spooning
It’s intimate, romantic, and most of all, it doesn’t allow for very deep penetration. It’s the perfect position for some sexy neck kissing and leaves hands free to pleasure other spots.
To do it, both parties lie on their side facing the same direction with the well-endowed partner spooning from behind.
Side-by-side
It’s like spooning only you’re facing each other. The position itself limits how deep the penis can go, and if that’s not enough, the partner being penetrated can keep their legs straight for even shallower penetration.
The position is high on intimacy and perfect for people who love to kiss — and who doesn’t?
Vulva on top
Yes, this one’s usually recommended for sex with a smaller-than-average penis. The idea of riding a monster cock might seem nuts, but bear with me for a sec.
The reason this position works is that it allows the partner with the vagina to control the depth — with a little care, of course.
Just straddle your partner who should be flat on their back and use your hands and legs to control your ride.
Standing doggy
Doggy style with a big member could be a rough ride with an overzealous partner. Standing doggy, on the other hand, makes deep penetration a little, ahem, harder.
To do it, the partner with the V stands facing a wall for support while their partner enters them from behind. It may take a little squatting or tippy-toe action to get the angle just right, making this a bit of an advanced move.
The anus is already pretty tight quarters, but throw a bigger penis into the mix and things can get really painful and even dangerous.
Tears — of the skin and the crying-in-pain kind — are possible if you’re not extra careful.
So what’s an anal-loving person to do? Try some of these big-D-friendly positions. Just remember to go especially slow and use copious amounts of lube. If you’re new to anal, training using toys to stretch your anus first is a good idea.
Missionary
P-in-V missionary might allow for deep penetration, but the D’s got more external space to conquer to reach the anus. This makes for shallower penetration.
The receiving partner lies on their back and the penetrating partner hovers above and enters between their partner’s slightly parted legs. Don’t forget to reach down and show the genitals some love to keep you aroused and your sphincter relaxed.
Sleeping dog
Ouch-free doggy with a bigger dick is possible with this modification. Instead of getting on all fours for penetration, the receiver lies flat on their stomach with their legs straight and together.
The penetrating partner lies on top and enters from behind. The closed legs and angle help limit how deep they can go without taking away from the pleasure.
Easy rider
This is basically the anal sex version of the vagina on top position. The party with the P lies on their back and the receiving partner climbs on facing them.
This position works because the recipient gets to control the depth using their hands and knees for support.
Reverse easy rider
Yup, it’s reverse cow for anal-loving peeps. Just like the position above, the penetrating partner lies flat on their back, only this time the recipient of the big D climbs on facing the other direction.
Have the partner on the bottom bend their knees so the rider has something to hold onto to help control the depth. And Big D — enjoy the view!
Butt-to-butt
We’re reaching porn star skill level here, but still keeping the big D in mind. This position puts the penis at a downward angle that can be a bit tricky, which is why it works for anal with a big one.
To do it, the receiving partner lies facedown with their legs spread. The giver then lies on top also facedown but facing their partner’s feet. This leaves you pretty much butt-to-butt with the penis resting just above for anal entry.
To thrust, both partners push forwards and backwards into each other.
Penetrative sex is NOT the holy grail of sex by any stretch. Oral sex and erogenous fun can up your chances of an orgasm and give those sore genitals a much-needed and oh-so-pleasurable break.
The body’s full of sensitive spots worthy of exploration, including the genital and anal region, of course.
Mix it up with sensation play using your mouth, hands, props, and toys, and experiment with different positions like these.
Lie back and enjoy
So simple, yet so versatile.
The partner on the receiving end of the stimulation lies back on the bed while their partner does all the work. By work, we mean kissing and caressing their erogenous zones, oral, rimming, or sex toy play.
When feeling generous, the recipient can swap positions with their partner and return the favor.
FYI: You can avoid the gag when giving a big member a beej by wrapping your hands around the base of their shaft and taking just the tip into your mouth.
Have a seat
Just like the name suggests, the lucky recipient takes a seat on the edge of the bed or a chair and spreads their legs.
Their partner kneels in between and can use their mouth, hands, toys, or all of the above to work them into a frenzy. Make this position butt play-friendly by having the recipient lean back while the giver places their hands under their butt to bring it closer.
Slip ’n slide
This position gives all the feels of penetration without having to get it in.
The well-endowed member climbs on top of their partner who’s lying face down and slides their lubed shaft up and down between their partner’s ass cheeks.
Take it to another level by having one or both parties wear a butt plug during play. If the partner on the bottom has a vagina, placing a vibrator under their vulva gives them something sexy to grind on.
Doggy
Is this position ever versatile! Whoa!
With one partner on all fours, the other partner can kneel behind or even lay just underneath for access to all of their partners most delightful bits.
With their partner on all fours, the giver can enjoy rimming, perform a blow job or vaginal oral, or use a vibrator on any part of their body. Vaginal or anal penetration with fingers and toys is also on the menu here — as long as they consent, natch.
In your face
Like some kink? This position involves facesitting, which isn’t for everyone.
To do it, the partner being sat on lies on the bed with their head on a pillow and the other person straddles their face. The face-sitter can lean back or forward to angle themselves for a blow job, vaginal oral, or rimming.
If the big D is on top, this position might be a little too deep throat-friendly and bit much for their partner’s mouth.
Instead of a full-on BJ, sliding the penis back and forth over their partner’s wet lips and tongue can be just as hot.
When you’re especially well-endowed, you can’t just go throwing that thing around all willy-nilly. A little preparation and learning to work with what you’ve got is key.
Here are some things to keep in mind that can make sex with a bigger penis better for you and your partner.
- Make sure you’re using the right condom size. Squeezing into a condom that’s too small is like trying to cram your size 32 bum into size 28 skinny jeans –— an accident waiting to happen. Choose condoms made for larger sizes, like Trojan Magnum Bareskin Condoms, to avoid the dreaded broken condom conundrum.
- Always have lube on hand. Lube is a big dick’s — and its partner’s — best friend. Water-based lubes, like ID Glide Natural Feel Water-Based Lubricant, are condom and toy-friendly. Use a lot to reduce friction and make penetration way more comfortable.
- Use penis rings. Cock rings can provide some nifty new sensations for both while also preventing the cock from going in all the way. Then there are rings like the Oh Nut and Come Close Pleasure Ring, which are specifically designed to prevent deep thrusting and help control depth.
In the company of a big ’un? Some might high five you, but we feel your pain.
Here are things to consider that can help spare you from discomfort and make the best of sex with your big friend.
- Lube, lube, lube! We firmly believe that the well-endowed should always have lube on hand and so should you. Lube makes sex easier and safer by reducing friction, which can help prevent skin tears that increase your risk of STIs. Lube isn’t just for pleasure, but safety, too.
- Stick to positions that keep you in control — at least at first. Until you and your partner find your rhythm and learn what works, opt for front/rear-entry positions that put you in control of the thrust.
- Work that pelvic floor. If you have a vagina, strengthening your pelvic floor may make it easier to accommodate their size. Pelvic floor exercises like Kegels are a good start.
A bigger-than-average penis can be a bit hard to take, literally.
You can master the monster with positions that feel amazing without going too deep and by developing mad non-penetrative sex skills. Add in lots of lube and have fun!
Adrienne Santos-Longhurst is a freelance writer and author who has written extensively on all things health and lifestyle for more than a decade. When she’s not holed up in her writing shed researching an article or off interviewing health professionals, she can be found frolicking around her beach town with husband and dogs in tow, or splashing about the lake trying to master the stand-up paddleboard.